DRAFT: under legal review, not yet final.
This page was rewritten on 6 September 2026 to accurately describe what the current product actually does, and revised again on 20 September 2026 to add several things that had shipped since (messaging, the conversation journal, member blocking, approximate location, and wali notifications) and were missing from the first rewrite. It replaces an earlier version that no longer matched the platform and contained factual errors about what data is collected and who can see it. This draft has not yet been reviewed by a qualified legal professional and should not be treated as final or complete until it has.
Your data is yours.
Before You Meet takes your privacy seriously. The information you share through this platform is deeply personal, including things Islamic tradition treats as private between you and Allah, and we treat it with the respect that deserves. This page explains, honestly, what that means in practice.
Who is responsible for your data
Before You Meet is currently operated by Nathan Fontaine as an individual. It has not yet been formally incorporated as a registered business. For any privacy question or request, contact hello@beforeyoumeet.app.
What we collect
- Your email address, and your phone number if you choose to add one
- Your name, date of birth, gender, height, profession, nationality, country of origin, and current city
- An approximate, deliberately fuzzed location derived from your city, shown to a partner you're paired with, never your exact address
- Photos and an intro video, if you upload them
- Your answers to every questionnaire chapter you complete, including chapters covering your religious practice, alcohol and substance history, physical and mental health, finances, and intimate expectations within marriage. Some of these are legally "special category" data (see below)
- Which questions you've marked as Red Flags, discussion points, or essentials
- Private journal entries you write about specific questions or conversations, if you use that feature
- Messages you exchange with someone you're paired and actively messaging with
- Voice notes (up to two minutes) and pictures you send in those messages, if you use them. A picture is made smaller on your phone before it is sent
- Whether you have turned read receipts (the "seen" ticks) on or off
- If you're a woman and choose to provide one, your wali/guardian's name and a contact detail
- Whether you've blocked another member (kept private to you)
- Your personal code, and any connections, introductions, or matches you form through it
- If you use "Report an issue": the category and description you write, an email address if you weren't signed in, the page you were on (its address without any query details), your browser and device type, the time, and your member id if you were signed in. We don't capture screenshots, your answers or your messages. Only site administrators can see reports; we keep them as support records, which may remain after an account is deleted unless you ask us to remove them
- Basic technical data needed to operate the site (e.g. login sessions). We do not use your IP address for tracking or advertising
We do not collect payment information. There is currently no paid tier.
Sensitive ("special category") data
A meaningful part of the questionnaire asks about things UK/EU data protection law treats as special category data: your religious practice, physical and mental health, and matters relating to your sex life. We only collect this because you choose to answer those questions, and our lawful basis for processing it is your explicit consent, given by choosing to answer. You can withdraw that consent for any chapter at any time by setting it to private in Settings, by not answering, or by asking us to delete your account entirely (see "Your rights" below). The Intimacy chapter specifically is never visible to anyone, including a partner you're paired with, until both of you separately choose to reveal it.
Where your data is stored, and who processes it
Your data is stored in a Supabase database and file storage (photos/video). Emails are sent via Resend. The site is hosted on Netlify. Some features send text to Anthropic's Claude AI service (see "How we use AI" below). We do not sell your data, and we do not use it for advertising or share it with any other third party.
Links to other services
Some pages may link to independent third-party services (for example, a pre-marriage counselling service). These links open in a new tab and are labelled as independent. We don't send them any of your information when you follow a link, and we don't control their sites or how they handle your data. Please read their own privacy information before sharing anything with them.
Who can actually see your data
- Anyone you pair with (Direct Connect, or a matchmaker-facilitated introduction you accept) can see all of your answers except the Intimacy chapter, which stays private until you both separately choose to reveal it.
- Anyone who has your personal code can look up your basic profile (your name, city, profession, your About/Looking-for text, and your full date of birth, which is shown to them as a computed age but is itself sent to their device) and any questionnaire chapter you've explicitly set to "Public" in Settings → What Each Chapter Shows. Every chapter defaults to private, visible only once you pair with someone, unless you deliberately make it public. You are not notified when someone looks up your code.
- A confirmed mutual "Pool Match" can see your public profile fields, whichever chapters you've set to public, and any photo or video you've marked public in your profile settings.
- A matchmaker you've explicitly connected with can see what you've shared with them as part of facilitating an introduction.
- Someone you're paired with can see the messages you send each other, once your wali has been notified and messaging is open. We don't otherwise read or monitor your messages. If you report a specific message, only that message's text becomes visible to a matchmaker reviewing the report, never the rest of the conversation.
- Voice notes and pictures are stored privately, not in any public place. They are available to you and the person you are paired with and, if you have invited a wali, to your wali in the wali view. We do not listen to voice notes or look at pictures, and we do not send them to any AI service. If one is reported, the matchmaker sees that a voice note or picture was reported, not the file itself.
- Your journal entries stay private to you. If you or a partner generate a compatibility analysis or Wali Report, an AI-written paraphrase of relevant themes from your entries (never a verbatim quote) may appear in that shared report.
- If you've provided a wali/guardian contact, they receive one short, informational notification when your pairing is approved for messaging. We don't send them anything else from your profile or answers directly.
- If you block someone, they can no longer find or message you. We don't tell them they've been blocked.
- Platform administrators can access account and profile data for safety review (e.g. new profile/photo moderation) and to provide support if you contact us. Specific actions an administrator takes on your account (such as approving, rejecting, or deleting content, or sending you an email) are logged. Routinely viewing your data as part of that review is not currently separately logged.
- No one else sees your data. It is never sold or used for advertising.
How we use AI
In plain words: when you or the person you are connected to generate a compatibility analysis or a Wali Report, an AI service reads both of your questionnaire answers, including any notes you wrote, and the themes from journal entries you approved. When you save a journal entry, an AI reads that entry to suggest themes for you to review. It is not used to train the AI, and the AI company deletes what it was sent within 30 days.
Some features use Claude, an AI service made by Anthropic. Most only run when you press a button, or when a matchmaker asks for a draft. The exception is your journal: when you save an entry, we automatically send its text to Claude to suggest themes for you to review.
What it is used for
- Your compatibility analysis and your Wali Report.
- “Why this match” on a Pool Match.
- Suggested themes from a journal entry you save, and the structured report built from conversation notes you give us.
- A short introduction draft that a matchmaker asks for.
What is sent
- For an analysis or Wali Report: both people’s answers to the questions, in words, with any notes you wrote on a question; first names; the values tags and the text you wrote in your profile; themes from journal entries that you approved for sharing; a list of dated changes to answers and flags; and the place names and distance between you.
- For “Why this match”: only a few answers where you differ, described as “You” and “This person”. No names and no notes.
- For journal themes: the text of the entry you saved.
- For conversation notes: the notes you pasted, the chapter titles and the other person’s name.
- For a matchmaker draft: a person’s answers (without notes), their profile text, profession and whether they have or want children. It leaves out the Finances, Intimacy and At Your Worst chapters and a few private questions. The AI is told not to include names or details that could identify them. We do not remove free text first.
What is not sent
Your email address, phone number, date of birth, member code, photos, messages and your wali’s contact details.
Intimacy
When you create a Wali Report you can tick a box to leave the Intimacy chapter out. The standard analysis does not have that option.
What we do not remove
First names and anything you write in a note or journal entry are sent as you wrote them. Please do not write anything there that you would not want processed in this way.
Who receives it, and for how long
Anthropic processes this data for us. Under its commercial terms it may not use it to train its models. Anthropic deletes inputs and outputs from its systems within 30 days, unless it flags a breach of its usage policy (then up to 2 years) or the law requires it to keep them. Results are saved in your account so you can read them again.
Data retention and deletion
Your data is kept for as long as your account exists. You can delete your account yourself: sign in, open Settings, choose the Delete Account tab and follow the steps. If you cannot sign in, email hello@beforeyoumeet.app and we will do it for you.
Deleting your account removes your answers, notes, journal, photos, voice notes and pictures, answer history, saved analyses and the other things we built from your answers, and anonymises your name, email and profile. Some things are kept for people you connected with: the written messages you sent them (shown as from a deleted member) and a private snapshot of your shared Results.
Deletion is not absolute. A message is free text. If you typed a name, a phone number or another detail into a message, that detail stays in the message the other person already received, and we cannot find and remove it automatically. We also keep records we need for payments or safety, such as a suspension or a report about a message.
Your rights
- Review your own answers and profile at any time by signing in
- Change any chapter's visibility, or your Pool Match/photo visibility, at any time in Settings
- Withdraw consent for any sensitive chapter by making it private or removing your answers
- Delete your account yourself in Settings, or request a copy of your data by emailing hello@beforeyoumeet.app
- Download a compatibility report as a PDF where one has been generated for you
Changes to this policy
This policy may be updated as the platform changes. Any changes will be reflected on this page, with the date below updated accordingly.
Last reviewed: 14 October 2026. Draft, pending legal review